I follow Tony Morgan on Twitter. He recently wrote a post about 20 things he learned to stay married for 20 years. Check out his list and see how you do – of course your milage may vary but I thought it was pretty good.
I found number 3 and number 19 to be of special value. I would like to give you my own take on both.
3. Take trips together…without the kids – As a parent, who can do that without feeling guilty? Right? But that’s a pretty good idea and probably would do a ton of marriages a lot of good. So, give it a try without any guilt and see what happens.
19. Don’t let your kids or your job become the priority. I want to once again focus on allowing your kids to become a priority. Sounds strange not to right? Over the years counseling broken marriages I think I get what he’s trying to say. Too many parents re-arrange their entire life around their kids activities. Parents are afraid to say “no” many times to their children. This often times places unnecessary tension on the marriage. Trying to get our kids all over the place leaving little time for building your marriage – you’re just too worn out at the end of the day/week/weekend for your spouse. And it’s all done in the name of “parenting.” Which often times leaves little time or desire for number 10 and 17.
Here’s the list…
20 Things We Learned to Stay Married for 20 Years
- Marry your best friend.
- Don’t expect to change them.
- Take trips together…without the kids.
- Laugh together.
- Talk about everything. No secrets.
- Go to bed together…every night.
- Decide who does what and do it well.
- Give your spouse freedom to soar.
- Keep it spicy. (You know what I mean.)
- Never say anything negative about your spouse.
- Dream together.
- Play together.
- Take steps toward Christ…together.
- Take time to celebrate.
- Establish boundaries with the opposite sex.
- Go on dates often and hold hands.
- Decide together on how to spend money.
- Don’t let your kids or your job become the priority.
- Say “I love you” often.